We’re all familiar with the question ‘what would you do if you won the lottery?’. I spend a not insignificant amount of time daydreaming about the house I would buy (or even possibly build), the holidays I would go on and the other frivolities that I would buy for myself and those close to me if I were to wake up one day and suddenly find myself with an extraordinary amount of money. Without actually buying a lottery ticket of course. As part of this delving into my imaginings, I think of what plays I would put on with the unlimited budget at my disposal. Today, I invite you into the cotton candy and butterscotch part of my brain to find out the four plays I would put on with an unlimited budget.
1. ‘Posh’ by Laura Wade
Most people who know me (especially from uni) will not be even remotely surprised that this is my top answer. Written in 2010, ‘Posh’ is about a group at Oxford called the Riot Club (very influenced by the real life Bullingdon Club). This group, made up of ten carefully selected, aristocratic young men, meet up once a term to hold a dinner in the private room of a pub. At the end of the night, they will completely and utterly trash that venue and just generally have a night of debauchery before giving owner a blank cheque who then suddenly ‘thought it was bloody funny, actually.’ Tonight, however, it goes all wrong when second year Alistair Ryle, who is ‘sick to fucking death of poor people’, meets a landlord who won’t play ball. As evidenced by this article (The Guardian, 18th November 2022), unfortunately the behaviours that are called out in this play aren’t going anywhere anytime soon. This is a play with a cast of thirteen (assuming there is no doubling up), most of whom are wearing old school white tie with tailcoats, and nice set made up of breakable props, food and ‘wine’ that would need to be replaced and thoroughly cleaned for every performance. Needless to say, this is a fairly pricey play to put on.
2. ‘Rules for Living’ by Sam Holcroft
First performed at the National Theatre in 2015, ‘Rules for Living’ is about a family of four all coming together for Christmas after their father has come out of hospital, with the sons bringing their respective partners and children (a total of seven actors). Everyone has their own little rules and ways of managing when around their family and this family is no different. So far, so normal. However, these rules are always on display for everyone watching to see for as long as those rules are in play, for example ‘Matthew must sit to tell a lie’. As the play goes on and the tension builds, so too do the rules and they start to get more and more ridiculous, for example ‘Carrie must stand and dance around to tell a joke…until she gets a laugh’. A simple concept that is absolutely hilarious to watch. Again, a fairly large cast (including potentially multiple children’s casts) and a realistic, two storey house set as well as light up rules signs would make this a quite expensive production.
3. ‘The Crucible’ by Arthur Miller
Coming away from comedy now, ‘The Crucible’ (recently performed at the National Theatre) is about the witch trials in Salem written at the time of the McCarthy Trials in the United States. This play has a cast of at least twenty-one. At least. If I were to do this play, I would also like to involve an ensemble which would include many young girls meaning I would (once again) likely need multiple casts for children. Add to that historically accurate 17th Century Puritan costumes and the set I have in mind, this has the potential to cost quite a bit.
4. ‘Oliver!’ by Lionel Bart
This may surprise some of you, but I would really love to put on a production of Lionel Bart’s adaptation of ‘Oliver Twist’ (a story that I don’t feel I really need to explain here). Aside from the obvious massive cast (including several children’s casts), multiple pieces of set and lots of Victorian costumes, I would have to pay for an orchestra/band, a musical director and a choreographer as while I can sing and sort of read music, I wouldn’t consider myself ‘one of the family’. However, I would love to put on this iconic musical, money allowing.
If you’re still here, thank you for reading and pop in the comments to this blog what silly frivolity you would treat yourself to if you won millions.
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